Pre-Wedding Confessions

The title of this post is kind of a lie. We've decided to not have a wedding. Before we were engaged, we had talked about a wedding. The more we talked about having one, the more stressed I got. We weren't even engaged yet and I was already stressed. So, to save money, stress, and travel for friends and family, we decided to forego the ceremony. 

Apparently I get stressed fairly easily. I've started planning our post-festivity trip (honeymoon). It's stressful. Finding a good deal on flights and hotels... It's a chore. I've done a lot of trip planning in my life, but never for such an occasion. I've also never had to book hotels. The destination is going to be a mystery for now, but I can say that we plan on spending a week in a castle. :)

So, these are my confessions:

• Getting married is hard work. I feel like engagement is like practice. You work hard in your engagement, planning your life together and learning more about each other when you reach your highest highs and lowest lows. Then marriage is a constant learning process... I am guessing. :)
• I love introducing TC as my fiancee. I am so excited to start introducing him as my husband. 
• When I was in high school (I was recently reminded of this) I said that my ideal man would be someone who would travel with me, but someone who would also be okay with me being gone for a couple weeks. I have found this person. He's not perfect, and I'm not perfect. We are perfect for each other.
• Being engaged is extremely rewarding with lots to look forward to, but it's hard work.  
• In Colorado, you can be your own officiant. This means that we can just fill out the paperwork and go do our own thing... climb a mountain, explore some ruins etc... and say our vows to each other there. 
• Watching Bridezillas is one of my guilty pleasures. I've watched it for years. For years I've held the hope that someday I would get married. These two things are connected. Every episode I watched I would think, "Well, these crazy people are getting married... there's still hope for me!" I still watch Bridezillas, but now I watch it with a sense of relief that I will never have to go through that. 
• Assuming that people live to be 100. Say two people get married at the age of 25. That's three quarters of your life spent with someone else. At the end, you spent more time with this other person than you have with yourself. This has always seemed strange to me. Now I can't imagine spending that much time with myself. I can't even handle being gone for 2 weeks. 
• Have I mentioned that committing yourself to someone else is hard work? I wouldn't have it any other way. TC has this smile... this giggle... just thinking about it makes me smile. I love him more than I ever thought I was capable. :)

Am I nervous? Of course. Do I doubt my decisions? Not at all. 

P.S. We've decided to make it official in mid May. :) a little over 3 months and counting!