Why do we try to change the ones we love?
This is something that I have never understood. I mean, you love that person the way they are, so why would you want them to change? Sure, everyone has those nasty little habits that certain people may find repulsive or downright strange. I'm slightly obsessive about alphabetizing things. When I was a kid, I would alphabetize my crayons. This, I am well aware, is not my most charming characteristic. I have other quirks that I hope you never have to find out about. The point is, you love someone because they are different, because they have a different way of thinking, because they can put up with you. Why try to make them more like you? Isn't one enough?
Don't get me wrong, I know that sacrifice is a part of any human relationship, but sacrifice doesn't equal change.
I think one of the reasons my sister and I get along so well now is because we spent years trying to change the other person until we learned to accept each other for who we really are. When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be just like my big sister. She, I'm sure, wanted me to leaver her alone. ;) I tried to change who I was to be more like her. I was talking to her the other day on the phone about my inability to have normal human relationships. She made it a point to say, "You can tell me anything, and I won't judge you." I had always assumed that, but it really resonated with me. I don't know if it was hearing it out loud that did it. It meant so much to me because my sister and I have chosen very different paths in life. It's easy to judge someone who isn't like you. So, it took several... decades... but we reached the point where we don't want to change each other, we accept each other for the different, awesome people we are.
So, I ask again: Why do we try to change the ones we love?
This is something that I have never understood. I mean, you love that person the way they are, so why would you want them to change? Sure, everyone has those nasty little habits that certain people may find repulsive or downright strange. I'm slightly obsessive about alphabetizing things. When I was a kid, I would alphabetize my crayons. This, I am well aware, is not my most charming characteristic. I have other quirks that I hope you never have to find out about. The point is, you love someone because they are different, because they have a different way of thinking, because they can put up with you. Why try to make them more like you? Isn't one enough?
Don't get me wrong, I know that sacrifice is a part of any human relationship, but sacrifice doesn't equal change.
I think one of the reasons my sister and I get along so well now is because we spent years trying to change the other person until we learned to accept each other for who we really are. When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be just like my big sister. She, I'm sure, wanted me to leaver her alone. ;) I tried to change who I was to be more like her. I was talking to her the other day on the phone about my inability to have normal human relationships. She made it a point to say, "You can tell me anything, and I won't judge you." I had always assumed that, but it really resonated with me. I don't know if it was hearing it out loud that did it. It meant so much to me because my sister and I have chosen very different paths in life. It's easy to judge someone who isn't like you. So, it took several... decades... but we reached the point where we don't want to change each other, we accept each other for the different, awesome people we are.
So, I ask again: Why do we try to change the ones we love?
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